You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
