is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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