My girlfriend figured out who you are.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
