I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
