You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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