cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize