every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
