anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
foreskin is a definite game changer
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
