so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
