Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize