Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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