the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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