my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
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So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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