he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We're too hungover to prance.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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