dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude i'm inner monologue high
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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