OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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