Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
