Me too!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
