listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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