How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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