I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
