then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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