i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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