He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
