i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
