She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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