I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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