I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize