Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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