ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
