OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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