We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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