Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
