Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Actions speak louder than pants.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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