i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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