i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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