the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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