yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
