the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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