Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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