i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
