I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I lost the right to judge tonight
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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