how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
