I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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