We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We need a shit load of segways right now
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
