i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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