so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
