Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
