she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
