For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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