my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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