apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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