Say something about gay babies.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I will be naked everywhere
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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