My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize