That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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