Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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