i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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