Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.

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(323): I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now. http://tfl.nu/r6w8

Replies (2) Good night (707) Bad night (969)
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(360): View more from Washington

I don't think brook has ever known best

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(360): I don't think brook has ever known best http://tfl.nu/7v0v

Replies (18) Good night (2547) Bad night (732)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes

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(832): either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes http://tfl.nu/ezez

Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (3740)
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(818): View more from California

I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.

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(818): I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot. http://tfl.nu/6tih

Replies (5) Good night (5890) Bad night (1618)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.

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(902): So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge. http://tfl.nu/p9n1

Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (2294)
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(314): View more from Missouri

For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.

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(314): For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos. http://tfl.nu/t7k7

Replies (11) Good night (4693) Bad night (1257)
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(281): View more from Texas

I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.

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(281): I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add. http://tfl.nu/n27a

Replies (27) Good night (3278) Bad night (759)
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(914): View more from New York

Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

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(914): Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun? http://tfl.nu/1gt4

Replies (10) Good night (2382) Bad night (539)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

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(610): Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout. http://tfl.nu/wlac

Replies (10) Good night (929) Bad night (529)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.

(301): View more from Maryland

Oh god, what has my life become?

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(301): I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him. (301): Oh god, what has my life become? http://tfl.nu/d6o7

Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (479)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not

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(912): I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not http://tfl.nu/o8dj

Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (416)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'

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(440): Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.' http://tfl.nu/rdeh

Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (492)
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(434): View more from Virginia

I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising

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(434): I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising http://tfl.nu/mvai

Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (547)
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(212): View more from New York

He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.

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(212): He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch. http://tfl.nu/d4fe

Replies (4) Good night (1949) Bad night (382)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!

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(506): We got a lap dance! I touched a boob! http://tfl.nu/ybfh

Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (213)

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