so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
