next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.