I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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