break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.